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 DAVID BOWIE - The Laughing Gnome Lyrics

I was walking down the High Street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man [Hello]
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away [laughter]
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly [Oaah..]
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day [laughter]

Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office
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[Gnome Office]
Yes
[Hahahahaha]

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me
Said the laughing Gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine [Burp, pardon]
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
[Haven't you got a light boy?]
Here, where do you come from?
[Gnome-man's land, hahihihi]
Oh, really?

In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He'd bought him along to sing me a song

Right, let's hear it
Here, what's that clicking noise?
[That's Fred, he's a metrognome, haha]

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me

[Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha]
Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?
[No, we're gnomads]
Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school? you look like a rolling gnome.
[No, not at the London School of Ecognomics]

Now they're staying up the chimney
And we're living on caviar and honey [hooray!]
Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
It's the-er [what?]
It's the Gnome service of course

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me

[Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me]

[One more time, yeah]